How to say 'no' when you cannot attend an event
Navigating event declines in 2024
While building Glow, we interviewed hundreds of people, trying to better understand social dynamics for organizing events. We asked questions like:
What activities do you like to do with friends? What activities do you prefer to do alone?
How do you typically invite people to hang out? What’s your preferred way of getting invited to an event?
When you know you want to do something (play a sport, attend a festival, host a party, etc.), what’s your process for inviting friends/family?
This gave us a ton of unique insights as to how to design Glow for ease of use.
But one conversation stuck out: a woman who’s a self-proclaimed “power organizer” who was extremely frustrated with how people sometimes declined her event invitations. Instead of following the guidelines below, they would simply say “Sorry, I can’t make it!” or — even worse — accept the invitation and not show up.
She suggested we provide more guidance on how to properly say “no” to events. As power organizers ourselves, we obliged!
1. Express Gratitude
When declining an invitation, always start by expressing genuine gratitude for being included. Acknowledge the effort and thoughtfulness of the host in inviting you. This sets a positive tone for your response and shows that you value the relationship.
2. Be Honest and Clear
Honesty is key when declining an invitation. Be straightforward about your reasons for not being able to attend. Whether it's a prior commitment, work-related obligations, or personal reasons, clarity helps the host understand your situation better.
3. Offer an Alternative or Show Interest in Future Events
If your schedule permits, consider suggesting an alternative date or event when you can meet up with the host or attendees. This shows your genuine interest in spending time together and helps keep the connection alive. If rescheduling isn’t possible, express your interest in future events.
4. Keep It Personal
Personalize your response by mentioning specific details about the event or your connection. A well-crafted message or email is a respectful way to decline an invitation, as it allows you to convey your message with thought and consideration. This demonstrates that you've given careful thought to your response.
5. Avoid Overexplanation
While honesty is important, avoid overexplaining your reasons for declining. A simple and concise response is usually sufficient. Lengthy explanations may unintentionally send the message that you're justifying your decision.
6. Follow Up
After the event, consider sending a follow-up message to inquire about how it went and reiterating to them you wish you could’ve made it. This small gesture demonstrates your ongoing care for the relationship.
In conclusion, saying “no” to events doesn't have to mean closing doors. By declining invitations with grace, honesty, and thoughtfulness, you can maintain and even strengthen your connections with others.
Sick of coordinating events with lengthy text threads asking everyone when they’re free? Try a Glow poll using the link below!